It’s been on my mind for the past few weeks as I have played and replayed and labeled and organized all our security videos and and iPhone videos and screenshots, ordering them for the lawyer. But this video marks my best appearance in the whole shebang. This is my Norma Rae moment, and I want to share it.

Let me preface this with a small self criticism. In this video Maggie is fresh out of her second stay in the hospital. She had just come home and immediately sat in her car with all the windows open and blasted CBS-FM at top volume.

This dramatically announced her return to the alley and frankly it was too soon. In the quiet days Maggie was absent, Calvin and I had noticed that our car had been violently keyed. Most likely she had done it the night she murdered our grape vines and called CPS so that they knocked on our door at 4 AM. Conveniently, Calvin and I were sleeping on the couches in the living room because Maggie was blasting Japanese radio through our bedroom wall so we heard the knock.*

In this video, I was pretty steamed at Maggie. I wanted to punch her in the nose. I am a hothead and one of my pandemic triggers is loud classic rock, so those are my excuses for launching so quickly into “We’re going to sue you.” Honestly, I regret that. First because it prompted Maggie to go full-gonzo crazy and second because it sent her into an endless rabbit hole of fake legal blather that goes on even today.

For the record, I did not have sexual relations with Maggie’s sad, sad husband and I’m fairly sure everyone in the alley doesn’t hate me. I have a fairly low alley profile, although I did become fanatically extroverted in the alley (waving, smiling, complimenting small kids for doing cute things) for a week or so after this exchange, but not anymore.

Now that I know how to post videos, get ready for some more! The Night of the Hosings is action packed.

*Last night CPS came again to our door and left a nice letter addressed to me. We didn’t hear the knock at 3:30 AM so missed it all, but our new CPS social worker, Miss Cayenne (not a fake name but such a great real name) will be here tomorrow to inspect the children. This is our 4th CPS investigation.