I really thought I was beyond the petty insults, that I could withstand anything—I mean, I get up every morning at 6:35, pour a cup of coffee, and settle down into Maggie’s Twitter feed. That is how I have spent every morning, more or less, since May of 2020.

I am anxious today. I had a professional thing that I’ve been really wanting and I don’t think I did that well. I KNOW I didn’t do that well, and it is killing me.

So maybe that is why waking up to a photo of Calvin and me at the Emmy’s, him clutching a statuette, me looking sort of quizzical, on Maggie’s Twitter. Oh pish posh, why am I being coy? Let’s just post the damn thing.

Give me a goddamn second.

Guys, you my loyal two or three readers, I am so tired of thinking about these fake names. It’s just me, Wendy Ditmarston and my husband Calvin. I can tell you what my face was saying in that photo. It’s saying, “I’m so tired and it’s been awkward for the past three hours and once again I don’t look the way I think I look in my mind.”

And there are all the strange lies. I guess they tried to befriend us, but their approach was brutal and insulting. I’ll never forget Daisy rushing to the top of the stairs after Ava/Magda/Rita (fake name of next door daughter) burst in a rage out of our house after her dad tried to make her apologize for punching Daisy in the nose. Daisy yelled: “Ava, I’m sorry you punched me in the nose!”

So yeah, I guess they tried pretty fucking hard to befriend us.

So as I stewed in my own professional insecurity, I got really peeved at her characterization of Calvin in this post:

So that’s annoying, right? Oh yeah, Calvin is a failed musician in his year of drum lessons in middle school, and once his computer crashed when he was editing the home video of Mother’s Milk by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, so he stayed up all night recreating the work and the video was released and did well.

Somehow those two things make him a failed musician and sloppy editor. It’s just not a fair characterization! The guy worked for and won 17 Emmys and was nominated for a Director’s Guild award, which I don’t mean to over-explain is a really big deal to some people, but what.. he fatally erred by not continuing drum lessons? Was he supposed to beg Anthony Kiedis’ forgiveness for that one lapse? Is that her criticism?

Then this friend of Maggie’s, this fucking poet, for crying out loud, responds to her. Yes, it happened after I screenshot the goddamn tweet, this nice lady answers with this:

A very bad decision I know!

I’m thinking about DMing in Facebook, this lady who hates it when failures viciously abuse helpless old ladies. Don’t worry! I’m going to sleep on it.

Tomorrow is another day.

PS. I think my work issue was fine but doing this post did remind me that I hadn’t written the thank you note, so that is a blogging mitzvah!