Daisy is back from college today. Calvin drove up to Vassar through the icy rain. Wyatt went to an all-ages music show last night in a totally inconvenient part of the city (Maspeth, which provoked his best friend’s mom to rail over text against Queens, which I gracefully corrected. I mean, I agree as a mom but I do get defensive about the uncool nature of Queens) and moshed around and slam danced.

He left the house in a t-shirt, and Calvin chased him, proferring him warm coat. No, he said. It’s too hot at the show and you can’t stash your coat anywhere. He came home at midnight and seemed very happy.

Can you believe they still slam dance?

I just cannot. I slam-danced once for real, and that was not for real. It was at a Fish Bone show at Columbia, and it was awesome. Then I went to the Butthole Surfers at the old Ritz and it was terrifying. Were people actually flinging themselves around there? I just remember a vast dark room with Hell’s Angels standing around while loud sounds played and a naked woman painted herself green onstage. I must have stayed for the whole show. I was not smart enough to just give up and leave.

Younger me has become more and more mysterious to today me. Did I really go into those places and stand around, risking my personal safety while loud music played? Nowadays, I am very careful about spending time in loud places. I hate loudness. I hate people flinging themselves around, like in sporting events. A baseball hurtled at my head at a Mets game and it was terrifying. Then it was exciting when no concussions occurred.

That’s why Atlantic City scared me

Did I mention we had to visit Atlantic City to attend a volleyball tournament that Calvin was in. We spent the whole weekend there, meaning Friday night to Sunday afternoon.

I was so anxious about going that I packed one extra pair of underwear and 7 shirts and extra pair of socks, so I did hotel sink laundry, like I was in Europe for three months not at a city two hours away from New York. We would be trapped and I would be going to loud games all day.

You know what saved me, right? Weed. After smoking weed, loud noises still hurt but not as much and it wasn’t as boring as it might have been. I love Calvin but sports are awful. I love Wyatt but I don’t want to watch him play volleyball every day, all day.

But the weekend was fantastic. We watched the games and they were interesting. We walked through the casino (Harrah’s) and breathed in the wonderful secondhand smoke. God, I miss that smell. We ate huge meals. We won $38.

It was the weed and the acceptance of reality and I was down for it. My mother was horrified but that is okay.

Other positive developments include realizing I miss my old grocery store more than I miss a former friend. That is progress! The former friend has moved to number 3 of things I miss most. Huge.

Maggie = boring

Wow. I must be pretty damn smug to type that. She’s so boring. She’s endlessly packing. Endlessly.