I’m genuinely confused about how things are going. I think things are going well but my emotional state does not totally match this perception.

Both kids are doing well, but I’m not talking to either of them much. They are both consumed with their own lives in college and high schools. I bother Wyatt about finding a job or internship, but he’s made some moves and has some plans and will probably find something. Daisy is also looking but Calvin is point man on that.

Although I am deeply involved in Wyatt’s school because I co-created and now co-run the PTA, I don’t think that much about Wyatt’s future. He seems fine. His grades are good, he seems happy, I like his friends, and he is a really good volleyball player. He’s fun to hang out with when he’s not totally cranky about having to hang out. That’s about all I care about.

Daisy had a friend drama last week and I gave her this great advice: don’t feel guilty because that is bullshit. It’s advice that I cannot take myself, however. I am guilt-ridden about everything and I am exhausted. Sometimes I can smash down the guilt but rarely.

Mostly I feel okay, like cautiously quiet and mostly cheerful. There is a giant lack of drama and excitement and thrill. I mean, I am very excited about the flowers in my office, which smell lovely and like spring. The park and the river are beautiful in the morning when I walk. I had a great lunch. The PTA is really kicking ass. The cats are delightful, and I’m trying to figure out some techniques to toughen up the Day Cat, so she’s less floppy and scared. She needs more human friends than just me! It’s hard to find cat-development practices, but I think she would benefit from more confidence and I worry her core is not strong. So floppy!

The Night Cat remains a demon. I removed the feather stick from the bed twice last night. She drags it around the house, up stairs, down stairs, and apparently into our bed.

Well, I tried to post the pink featherstick video but apparently I need to upgrade my WordPress, and that really ticks me off.